Greg Schwem
- Corporate Comedian
- Master of Ceremonies
Greg Schwem Speaker Biography
HuffPost calls Greg Schwem, “Your boss’ favorite comedian.” Indeed, Greg’s comedic take on the 21st century workplace and work/life balance has landed him on SIRIUS Radio, FOX News, Comedy Central and the pages of Parents Magazine. More than just a business humor keynote speaker and sought after corporate emcee, Greg is also an author, nationally syndicated humor columnist for the Chicago Tribune, award-winning greeting card writer and creator of funnydadinc, voted one of the top Dad humor sites on the web. His recent business travels have resulted in a hilarious web series, A Comedian Crashes Your Pad. He has shared the concert stage with the likes of Celine Dion, Jay Leno and Keith Urban.
Greg’s two keynotes – “Work, Laugh, Repeat” and “Rock, Roll & Laugh Your Way to the Top” – provide hilarious looks at today’s corporate environment and the latest tools used to conduct business. Greg’s client list includes such corporate heavyweights as McDonald’s, Microsoft, General Motors, IBM, Hyatt Hotels, United Airlines, Cisco Systems and The CIA. “Even America’s covert intelligence community likes to laugh itself,” Greg says.
What sets Greg apart from other corporate entertainers is his ability—and willingness—to customize material for his audience while working within the parameters of the corporate environment. That means no profanity or politically incorrect material. “That’s never been a part of my show anyway,” Greg recently told a reporter.
When Greg hits the stage he already has perused the company’s Internet site, combed the internal message boards and even sifted through numerous PowerPoint presentations. “There is no such thing as too much information,” Greg says. “I know corporate audiences like to laugh at themselves so the more ammunition I get, the funnier it will be. Just don’t give me a 10-K report. There is NOTHING funny about that.”
Greg’s preparation always includes a conference call with company executives and, in some cases, an onsite visit.
Customized Material from Past Shows
John Hancock: You sell the U.S. Global Leader Growth Fund. Is there a U.S. Regional Follower Growth Fund as well?
Michigan Realtors Assoc.: Your organization has been around since 1915? What kind of sessions did realtors attend at the 1915 convention? “The do’s and dont’s of selling that log cabin!”
Campbell’s Soup: You make “premium organic” baby food? Don’t you realize that, after the baby eats your incredibly healthy food, he’s gonna grab a fistful of the cat’s hair and eat that too?
Besides customized material, Greg entertains audiences with stories about tedious business meetings, SmartPhone addiction, “frequently” asked questions and his fascination with the American Girl Doll company. He also is the author of two Amazon best sellers: Text Me If You’re Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad and The Road to Success Goes Through the Salad Bar: A Pile of BS (Business Stories) From a Corporate Comedian.
To book Greg Schwem call Executive Speakers Bureau at 901-754-9404.
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Speech Topics
Turning Gut Punches into Punch Lines
In January 2024, while in the midst of a late in life divorce, corporate comedian and business humor speaker Greg Schwem was diagnosed with a malignant tumor lying flat on his colon. Divorce and cancer in one year. Other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?
Facing an uncertain outcome, Schwem was forced to adopt what he had been preaching to corporate clients such as Microsoft, Oracle and AT&T for years: Locate humor in the unfunniest of situations, during times when everything seems hopeless. With a laptop propped up on hospital pillows, Greg began writing…and writing…and writing. The result was Turning Gut Punches into Punch Lines, a hilarious, multimedia-fueled keynote speech that teaches audience members how to always be on the lookout for “the funny,” use humor to battle personal struggles, business challenges, or both, and emerge happier. It starts, Greg says, by admitting you are the “least interesting person in the room” and letting others provide the laughs.
Some insights from the presentation, most of which was written without the help of pain medication:
-My surgeon kept telling me passing gas any time was a good thing. I handed him my phone and said, “Please call my ex and repeat what you just said.”
-Everyone has a great, and funny story to tell, if you’re willing to listen and show genuine interest. Last month I booked two dates, simply because I asked strangers at airports what they did for a living.
-I started watching TikTok videos of doctors giving health advice. One was called “Five Foods NEVER to Keep in your Refrigerator” After 30 seconds I realized it could easily be titled, “Five Foods Greg Schwem ALWAYS keeps in his Refrigerator.’
Humor is Serious Business…But We Should Still be Laughing
In a hilarious, multimedia-intensive presentation, renowned business humorist and award-winning Chicago Tribune humor columnist Greg Schwem will make audiences of all ages howl with laughter as he explores the role of, and the need for, humor in a post COVID, return-to-the-office world. As companies struggle to answer the questions, “What is funny?” and “What is appropriate?” Greg offers a different perspective: There ARE no right answers. Instead, he feels all employees, from the new hires to the C-level executives, must formulate their own answers by working together, instead of running from one another. Only then will the result be a healthy and FUN work environment. Performing live or virtually, Greg shows audiences that rules about workplace humor can be easily violated… even by those who create and enforce them; how to not be the office “humor cop” and how to “engage but never attack” those who you disagree with when it comes to humor. The ability to research his audience and tailor his content is why companies such as Microsoft, McDonald’s, Southwest Airlines and even The CIA have turned to Greg for laughs, and why HuffPost calls Greg “Your boss’ favorite comedian.
Work, Laugh, Repeat
Perfect for any group that needs a humorous break from the serious side of business. In spite of its therapeutic qualities, laughter is often absent from the business environment. Greg shows it is possible to laugh at work and about work. Audience members will put down their iPads and Blackberries and laugh along with Greg as he good-naturedly discusses topics such as Smart Phone abuse, social network overload, never-ending conference calls, “frequently” asked questions, and home office workers. His preparation includes company web site research, phone conferences and maybe even a personal visit
Rock, Roll & Laugh Your Way to the Top
Greg Schwem knows a thing or two about rock and roll. As a comedian who has opened concerts for stars ranging from Keith Urban, to Celine Dion, to Pat Benatar to (wait for it) KC and the Sunshine Band, Greg has seen how rock and roll is a business. Like your business. In short? Every company and employee has “rock star” potential. Greg shows you how to achieve that potential in a presentation that combines hilarious comedy, live concert footage and a musical soundtrack featuring everything from classic rock to country to EDM (electronic dance music for you music neophytes.) Topics include “Why Every Office Needs a Keith Richards,” “Are you Team Taylor or Team Kanye?,” and “Don’t Turn Your Company Into a Country Song.” Rock on!
Meeting Emcee/Video Host
A good emcee needs to multitask. He must keep the event moving, be adept at improvisation and work efficiently with all participants on stage. Greg Schwem has hosted everything from a one-hour awards ceremony for 200 BAE Systems engineers to a three-day conference for 6,000 McDonald’s restaurant manager.
Books
